Special vs. Holy Relationships in A Course in Miracles: What You Need to Know ✨
- Sandy Levey-Lunden

- Oct 25
- 3 min read

Relationships are the classroom of the soul — and in A Course in Miracles (ACIM), they’re where we learn to exchange fear for love. One of the most powerful teachings in the Course is the distinction between special relationships and holy relationships. Understanding this difference can completely transform how you show up in love, friendship, and even in your connection with yourself.
🌙 What Are “Special Relationships” in ACIM?
In A Course in Miracles, special relationships are those we form through the ego. They’re built on need, attachment, and the unconscious desire to “complete” ourselves through another person. While they may feel passionate or comforting at first, special relationships often lead to pain because they reinforce separation instead of unity.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “I can’t be happy without them,” or felt consumed by jealousy or control, you’ve experienced what ACIM calls a special relationship.
The Course teaches that undoing special relationships (ACIM) is essential to spiritual growth. This doesn’t mean ending the relationship itself — it means allowing the Holy Spirit to reinterpret it. When we invite love instead of fear to lead the way, even our most ego-driven relationships can be transformed.
🌤 From Special to Holy: The Shift in Perception
A holy relationship, according to ACIM, is one in which both partners share a common goal: awakening to love and truth. Instead of using the relationship to get something, you use it to give — forgiveness, understanding, and acceptance.
As an ACIM relationship coach, I often guide students through this sacred shift. The process involves forgiveness in relationships (ACIM) — releasing judgments, grievances, and the need to be right. When you practice forgiveness, you create space for divine love to enter.
This is what transforming ego relationships (ACIM) truly means: you stop seeing your partner as a source of happiness or pain and start recognizing them as a mirror for your own healing.
💫 Living a Holy Relationship
So what does living a holy relationship (ACIM) look like day-to-day? It’s not about perfection or constant harmony — it’s about awareness. Each moment of conflict becomes an opportunity to choose peace instead of attack.
When you invite the Holy Spirit into your partnership, it becomes a living classroom for awakening. You begin to experience genuine intimacy — not based on the body or personality, but on shared spiritual purpose.
Many people find it helpful to work with an A Course in Miracles spiritual coach or join A Course in Miracles intimacy coaching sessions to deepen this practice. With the right support, even long-standing patterns of pain can be replaced with love and understanding.
💖 The Role of Forgiveness and Guidance
The heart of all ACIM teachings on love and forgiveness is simple: when you forgive, you remember who you really are.Through holy relationship guidance (ACIM), you learn that your partner is never the enemy — only your thoughts about them can hurt you. Forgiveness restores peace, and love naturally follows.
If you feel called to this path, trust that every relationship in your life — romantic, familial, or otherwise — can be transformed into a holy one. This is the essence of what it means to walk the path of A Course in Miracles.
🌟 Final Thoughts
Transitioning from special relationships (ACIM) to holy ones isn’t about losing love — it’s about finding real love.As you practice forgiveness and invite divine guidance, your relationships become less about fulfilling the ego and more about expressing God’s love in form.
With the help of an ACIM relationship coach or your own inner guidance, you can begin the journey of undoing special relationships (ACIM) and stepping fully into the light of holy relationship guidance (ACIM).





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